Well, I had the opportunity to take a trip back to State College this weekend. I like to head up there at least two or three times a year to recharge the batteries. In honor of this weekend, I decided to "break out the thumbs" and give some informal grades to various weekend related items.
(Also, please note that I stole this idea directly from a recent Bill Simmons column on ESPN.com. I know I have mentioned this about 20 times by now, but I will continue to bring it up until I have confirmation that at least one person is reading him on a regular basis.)
Here we go.....
Thumbs up. To State College in general. This might be my favorite place on Earth that doesn't require a cover charge and a wad of dollar bills.
Thumbs up. To the Sleep Inn. This place never fails to disappoint. I think that pound-for-pound it's the best value in hotels. They always have a helpful staff. They even let me put my ice cream from the Creamery in their freezer overnight. The rooms are clean and comfortable. A 5 Star facility in my book.
Thumbs down. To the graffiti artist who placed the phrase "One Way Jesus" on a bridge overpass on Route 220. My travel companion for the day, my cousin-in-law (DD's husband), and I debated this for the next 15 minutes. Is Jesus only responsible for the good and not the bad things that happen in life? Or maybe only responsible for the bad and not the good? An omnipotent traffic deity? This only left us with more questions than answers.
Thumbs down. To the Berkey Creamery. They built a state of the art Creamery, and didn't improve parking. I know that there is a parking deck next door, but it was being used for an event, and looked inaccessible to the general public. Also, I know that this is going to sound weird, but I don't like the fact that Penn State sold out and let somebody put their name on the Creamery. The Creamery is a landmark. It's like being able to buy a real-life Monopoly property. If you didn't go to Penn State, this won't make any sense, but we take our ice cream very seriously.
Thumbs down. To our cab driver on the way to downtown State College. He was playing some sort of techno music and I swear that there was an ad in there for a MySpace page. If that was in the part that I could hear, I can only imagine what type of subliminal message was planted in there. We'll find out in about 3 days when I feel compelled to strip naked and walk around outside like a chicken.
Thumbs up. To Bill Pickle's and all the other bars that open up before 4 pm. Not a bad place to hang out until Tony's and the Phyrst open up.
Thumbs down. To the volatile mixture of Qdoba's Mexican food and beer. Probably not the best idea if your future restroom options are sketchy at best.
Thumbs up. To my large intestine. For keeping the aforementioned combo under wraps until I could reach acceptable facilities.
Thumbs down. To the privileged elite. I think that some of the students out there are going to have a rude awakening when they hit the job market. If I ever have the ability to recruit college kids, I would love to see how they act in a bar situation. I've never seen so many pampered youths in my life. Just a solid row of kids in Izod shirts waving their daddy's credit card expecting good service. As a side note, I saw the hardest working bartender ever at Tony's Big Easy on Saturday. She literally handled the entire front bar there by herself. These damn kids were mad that they weren't being waited on in 2 seconds. I weep for the future.
Thumbs down. To trendy clothes and the girls who wear them. There was a girl at the Phyrst on Saturday who was trying desperately to get noticed due to her rack, which was barely covered. At one point the entire bar was shouting "TAKE YOUR TOP OFF." She was standing there with an open mouth, like she couldn't believe how she had been singled out. Here's the rule, when you dress like that, don't act shocked when you get negative attention. I'm not saying that she was a slut, but she was certainly wearing the uniform.
Thumbs down. To Father Time. I needed to take a nap to be able to muster the strength for a night of drinking on Saturday. This isn't fair. There was a point when I could go all day. Not anymore.
Well, that about wraps it up. Have a great week, and I'll talk to you all next week.
~Kevin
Monday, February 26, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Apple of my eye.......
I need help.
Well, technical speaking I need a lot of help, but we'll keep this confined to the technology arena for right now. I like to think of myself as being pretty hip when it comes to technology. I was right on the leading edge when it came to blogging, right? However, I increasingly realize that I am behind the times.
I don't own an iPod. Never have. I know that there are people out there who are on their third or fourth ones. Not me. It's not that I don't like the iPod. If I got one, I don't really know where I would use it. I know that you'll find this hard to believe, but I am not too fond of exercise so I couldn't even use it as I run a few laps. Listening to music or a podcast would distract me when I am reading, so I couldn't use it at the library. However, I do have a 1997 Sony Discman that I might have to break out sometime in the near future.
I don't own a digital camera. I know. I am only one of 6 people on the planet without one.
Here's what I'm getting at. I recently had a religious experience. I am not sure if you have an Apple store near where you live, but they are a great time. All of their products are out and you can play with them and get a feel for the real thing. I was hooked. The one product that got my attention in a major way was their desktop computer with a 30 inch screen. I'll say that again because I think it warrants repeating. A 30 inch screen! That's bigger that most TV screens. An abundance of 30 inch screens, broadband connections, and a steady stream of Internet porn could ultimately be the downfall of working America.
The reason that I bring all of this up is that I will need to get a new computer in the near future. By "near future", I mean within the next year. And I have been torn over which way to go. I am obviously familiar with PCs, and have a Dell Laptop as my fallback position. But the idea of going with an Apple is growing on me everyday. They are a little bit more expensive. (Price will ultimately play a major factor in which way I go.) It just seems that they have less problems (viruses, etc.) I will be using this computer for graduate studies, and I am worried that I won't be able to share projects and communicate with my fellow students if they are all using PC-based machines. When I was looking over the Apple machines, I discovered that they have some killer applications. Their iWork suite has professional level photo applications, DVD creator, etc. But like I said before, I don't even own a damn digital camera. Why does a cool photo editing program matter to me?
This is where I need your help. If you have any experience with any of this, you're thoughts would be welcome. Also, feel free to let me know that this was the lamest post in the last 6 months and you need more shaved-head Britney talk.
~Kevin
Well, technical speaking I need a lot of help, but we'll keep this confined to the technology arena for right now. I like to think of myself as being pretty hip when it comes to technology. I was right on the leading edge when it came to blogging, right? However, I increasingly realize that I am behind the times.
I don't own an iPod. Never have. I know that there are people out there who are on their third or fourth ones. Not me. It's not that I don't like the iPod. If I got one, I don't really know where I would use it. I know that you'll find this hard to believe, but I am not too fond of exercise so I couldn't even use it as I run a few laps. Listening to music or a podcast would distract me when I am reading, so I couldn't use it at the library. However, I do have a 1997 Sony Discman that I might have to break out sometime in the near future.
I don't own a digital camera. I know. I am only one of 6 people on the planet without one.
Here's what I'm getting at. I recently had a religious experience. I am not sure if you have an Apple store near where you live, but they are a great time. All of their products are out and you can play with them and get a feel for the real thing. I was hooked. The one product that got my attention in a major way was their desktop computer with a 30 inch screen. I'll say that again because I think it warrants repeating. A 30 inch screen! That's bigger that most TV screens. An abundance of 30 inch screens, broadband connections, and a steady stream of Internet porn could ultimately be the downfall of working America.
The reason that I bring all of this up is that I will need to get a new computer in the near future. By "near future", I mean within the next year. And I have been torn over which way to go. I am obviously familiar with PCs, and have a Dell Laptop as my fallback position. But the idea of going with an Apple is growing on me everyday. They are a little bit more expensive. (Price will ultimately play a major factor in which way I go.) It just seems that they have less problems (viruses, etc.) I will be using this computer for graduate studies, and I am worried that I won't be able to share projects and communicate with my fellow students if they are all using PC-based machines. When I was looking over the Apple machines, I discovered that they have some killer applications. Their iWork suite has professional level photo applications, DVD creator, etc. But like I said before, I don't even own a damn digital camera. Why does a cool photo editing program matter to me?
This is where I need your help. If you have any experience with any of this, you're thoughts would be welcome. Also, feel free to let me know that this was the lamest post in the last 6 months and you need more shaved-head Britney talk.
~Kevin
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Regular Monday Post......
Ok, I know that this post usually comes on a Monday (or later), but I have other stuff to do tomorrow night so I didn't want to leave you hanging. I know that for many of you, the only thing that gets you through a Monday is knowing that this blog will have a new post. With that being said, here's what's going on in my neck of the woods.
First, here is an interesting theory that my dad has about Anna Nicole. Now, brace yourself because this is going to get a little sick, but it makes sense. My dad thinks that Anna's dead son is the father of her baby. Now, when he first told me this, I dismissed as very bad joke. However, at this point, is it something that you can ABSOLUTELY rule out? No way! Everything is in play right now. This would explain why they were so reluctant to get the DNA testing done. Also, if the son and her were on the same drugs, who knows what happened when they were high. Again, not likely but it definitely could have happened. Then, that would explain the boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, stepping up and saying that he's the dad. I know that this will most likely end up to be rubbish, but its so unlikely that it'll probably be true. Just remember that you read it here first.
Second, has anyone else ever seen the magazine, Runner's World? As you all know, I am a huge library rat. Recently, I have been there more than usual. I noticed that there is a magazine dedicated solely to jogging. (Or maybe it's yogging, it could be a "soft j") ((I am guessing that 1 or 2 people got that)). Anyway. What could they possibly have to communicate about jogging that would require a monthly magazine? Let's see. Left, right, left, right. Repeat. What else could possibly be in there? That magazine should come out once a year, but only if there is a breakthrough in sneakers or something.
Next, has anyone ever fully investigated the health ramifications of Magic Shell? You all know that tasty treat that goes on your ice cream? I recently got some, and something seems amiss here. It indicates quite matter-of-factly that it CAN NOT be refrigerated. It also has to be shaken (upside down only) for at least 20 seconds. I can't think of any other food item that has such strict handling instructions. I feel like its secret Magic Shell powers come from plutonium or something, and that's why is has to be handled so carefully.
Finally, I saw something interesting on the Food Network this morning. I watched back to back episodes of 30 Minute Meals and Everyday Italian. These shows are hosted by Rachael Ray and Giada de Laurentiis, respectively. Anyway, they both made a risotto with chicken stock and sweet peas. Now, I am not sure what the rules regarding culinary plagiarism are, but I see trouble at the next company-wide Food Network event. I envision a verbal confrontation that quickly escalates into a straight-up cat fight. They are pulling at each other's clothes and then.......
Sorry, I got a little distracted there. But you get the picture. This reminds me of something. Would it be asking too much of Playboy to get some celebs in the magazine? I realize that it might be a little difficult trying to get A-list celebs to pose nude, but I think that the investment would totally pay for itself. On a related note, they recently turned down Kelly Osburne's offer to pose in the magazine. There is a God after all.
Well, that's all for now. Talk to you all next week.
First, here is an interesting theory that my dad has about Anna Nicole. Now, brace yourself because this is going to get a little sick, but it makes sense. My dad thinks that Anna's dead son is the father of her baby. Now, when he first told me this, I dismissed as very bad joke. However, at this point, is it something that you can ABSOLUTELY rule out? No way! Everything is in play right now. This would explain why they were so reluctant to get the DNA testing done. Also, if the son and her were on the same drugs, who knows what happened when they were high. Again, not likely but it definitely could have happened. Then, that would explain the boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, stepping up and saying that he's the dad. I know that this will most likely end up to be rubbish, but its so unlikely that it'll probably be true. Just remember that you read it here first.
Second, has anyone else ever seen the magazine, Runner's World? As you all know, I am a huge library rat. Recently, I have been there more than usual. I noticed that there is a magazine dedicated solely to jogging. (Or maybe it's yogging, it could be a "soft j") ((I am guessing that 1 or 2 people got that)). Anyway. What could they possibly have to communicate about jogging that would require a monthly magazine? Let's see. Left, right, left, right. Repeat. What else could possibly be in there? That magazine should come out once a year, but only if there is a breakthrough in sneakers or something.
Next, has anyone ever fully investigated the health ramifications of Magic Shell? You all know that tasty treat that goes on your ice cream? I recently got some, and something seems amiss here. It indicates quite matter-of-factly that it CAN NOT be refrigerated. It also has to be shaken (upside down only) for at least 20 seconds. I can't think of any other food item that has such strict handling instructions. I feel like its secret Magic Shell powers come from plutonium or something, and that's why is has to be handled so carefully.
Finally, I saw something interesting on the Food Network this morning. I watched back to back episodes of 30 Minute Meals and Everyday Italian. These shows are hosted by Rachael Ray and Giada de Laurentiis, respectively. Anyway, they both made a risotto with chicken stock and sweet peas. Now, I am not sure what the rules regarding culinary plagiarism are, but I see trouble at the next company-wide Food Network event. I envision a verbal confrontation that quickly escalates into a straight-up cat fight. They are pulling at each other's clothes and then.......
Sorry, I got a little distracted there. But you get the picture. This reminds me of something. Would it be asking too much of Playboy to get some celebs in the magazine? I realize that it might be a little difficult trying to get A-list celebs to pose nude, but I think that the investment would totally pay for itself. On a related note, they recently turned down Kelly Osburne's offer to pose in the magazine. There is a God after all.
Well, that's all for now. Talk to you all next week.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Anna Nicole.....
When you run the Soul Bowl, you need to be up on the current events of the day. Of course, by this time we all know that Anna Nicole Smith died today. I can't really add too much here. It was probably the most obvious pick that anyone could have made. However, NO ONE had her in the Soul Bowl.
Here was a lady who just lost her 20 year old son a few months ago. She leaves behind an infant daughter, and through all that tragedy my first reaction was "did anybody have her?" Don't get mad. You all were thinking the exact same thing too. It was almost too obvious. I definitely thought about her, but it made so much sense that there was no chance that the pick would pay off. Just goes to show you how unpredictable the Soul Bowl can be. And that's why we play.
Also, my apologies for the list cutting off. I was fooling around with the template last night (as luck would have it) and I guess this new one cut the rest of the list off. I didn't mean to heighten the suspense any. I really need to work on getting a separate Soul Bowl website up and running so that we don't run into these situations any more. On a related note, I got more calls and text messages today than I have had in the last week combined. Not sure what that says about me, but I just thought I would pass it along.
Take care and keep off the TrimSpa.
~Kevin
Here was a lady who just lost her 20 year old son a few months ago. She leaves behind an infant daughter, and through all that tragedy my first reaction was "did anybody have her?" Don't get mad. You all were thinking the exact same thing too. It was almost too obvious. I definitely thought about her, but it made so much sense that there was no chance that the pick would pay off. Just goes to show you how unpredictable the Soul Bowl can be. And that's why we play.
Also, my apologies for the list cutting off. I was fooling around with the template last night (as luck would have it) and I guess this new one cut the rest of the list off. I didn't mean to heighten the suspense any. I really need to work on getting a separate Soul Bowl website up and running so that we don't run into these situations any more. On a related note, I got more calls and text messages today than I have had in the last week combined. Not sure what that says about me, but I just thought I would pass it along.
Take care and keep off the TrimSpa.
~Kevin
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Eddie Bauer can kiss my ass....(A love story)
For those of you who know me, you know that when I am wronged through poor customer service I have no problem with starting a boycott against that company. And, I know what you're thinking. "We've heard this all before. Quit crying you big baby. Grow a pair." I asked all of you to avoid Wendy's this past summer. Not quite sure that any of you followed through on that, but I know that you were there with me in spirit. With that being said, here is how my latest (and greatest boycott) started.
I have one of those briefcase/messenger style bags from Eddie Bauer that I use to carry stuff to work. Its nothing spectacular. Just a regular bag that did its job well. Up until last week, that is. Last week one of the clips that keeps the strap attached to the bag broke off. Oh, and it has a broken zipper for the main compartment as well. Not knowing what else to do, I looked up the return policy on merchandise from the Eddie Bauer website. Here's what it said "If, at any time, you are not completely satisfied with your purchase, simply exchange it or return it to us for a refund. Your purchase is guaranteed for the lifetime of the product under normal wear and tear and/or defects in original workmanship."
Now, I am not a brilliant man, but I interpreted this to mean that I could exchange my busted bag for a new one. I couldn't have been more wrong. You see, the fine people at Eddie Bauer have a slightly different interpretation as to what the term "lifetime" means. Here is their response: "A backpack's lifetime should be about two years, when used daily to carry an average amount of weight." That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The most you can expect from a piece of Eddie Bauer merchandise is two years. I have a Jansport backpack from high school that I still use on occasion and it is in great shape.
Eddie Bauer's own customer service representatives only made the situation more confusing. From their explanation a "lifetime" is the product's usable time. This might be the greatest marketing ploy ever. Essentially they give you a lifetime warranty, but the warranty is void the moment that the product becomes defective. This just happens to be the time when you need the guarantee the most. It took 2 trips to the mall, 1 phone call, and 2 emails to explain all this.
Needless to say, I am pissed. The thing that bothers me the most is that if they only wanted to cover the product for 2 years they could easily do so. They would only need to write "this product has a limited guarantee for two years after the initial purchase." If that was the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Instead, you would have been subjected to a posting of either "Why I love toast" or "Why everyone needs a robe." But it didn't. It says lifetime guarantee. I put this up there with The Chad's run-in with AT&T where they told him he couldn't get good cellular reception near buildings, trees, water, rocks, and power lines. In fact, I am getting angry all over again just writing all this down.
So, I am asking all of you to immediately begin a boycott of Eddie Bauer and its shoddy products. No shirts, no overpriced Ford Explorers. Nothing. I am choosing to voice my displeasure with my wallet. I won't stop until I get satisfaction (or until I get tired and give up). My next move is a written letter to their CEO. I am also going to alert the PA Bureau of Consumer Protection about their deceptive practices.
Whew! I feel better now. Till next week.
~Kevin
I have one of those briefcase/messenger style bags from Eddie Bauer that I use to carry stuff to work. Its nothing spectacular. Just a regular bag that did its job well. Up until last week, that is. Last week one of the clips that keeps the strap attached to the bag broke off. Oh, and it has a broken zipper for the main compartment as well. Not knowing what else to do, I looked up the return policy on merchandise from the Eddie Bauer website. Here's what it said "If, at any time, you are not completely satisfied with your purchase, simply exchange it or return it to us for a refund. Your purchase is guaranteed for the lifetime of the product under normal wear and tear and/or defects in original workmanship."
Now, I am not a brilliant man, but I interpreted this to mean that I could exchange my busted bag for a new one. I couldn't have been more wrong. You see, the fine people at Eddie Bauer have a slightly different interpretation as to what the term "lifetime" means. Here is their response: "A backpack's lifetime should be about two years, when used daily to carry an average amount of weight." That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The most you can expect from a piece of Eddie Bauer merchandise is two years. I have a Jansport backpack from high school that I still use on occasion and it is in great shape.
Eddie Bauer's own customer service representatives only made the situation more confusing. From their explanation a "lifetime" is the product's usable time. This might be the greatest marketing ploy ever. Essentially they give you a lifetime warranty, but the warranty is void the moment that the product becomes defective. This just happens to be the time when you need the guarantee the most. It took 2 trips to the mall, 1 phone call, and 2 emails to explain all this.
Needless to say, I am pissed. The thing that bothers me the most is that if they only wanted to cover the product for 2 years they could easily do so. They would only need to write "this product has a limited guarantee for two years after the initial purchase." If that was the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Instead, you would have been subjected to a posting of either "Why I love toast" or "Why everyone needs a robe." But it didn't. It says lifetime guarantee. I put this up there with The Chad's run-in with AT&T where they told him he couldn't get good cellular reception near buildings, trees, water, rocks, and power lines. In fact, I am getting angry all over again just writing all this down.
So, I am asking all of you to immediately begin a boycott of Eddie Bauer and its shoddy products. No shirts, no overpriced Ford Explorers. Nothing. I am choosing to voice my displeasure with my wallet. I won't stop until I get satisfaction (or until I get tired and give up). My next move is a written letter to their CEO. I am also going to alert the PA Bureau of Consumer Protection about their deceptive practices.
Whew! I feel better now. Till next week.
~Kevin
Friday, February 02, 2007
Wing Bowl
"He whom the gods love dies young" - Plautus
I was thinking of a quote that could be used to summarize Wing Bowl, and this seemed to be as good as any. I mean, when you eat 182 chicken wings in 30 minutes you probably don't have a really long life expectancy. And, a little cultural enrichment never hurt either.
Anyway, I was originally going to do this as a running diary, but I realized that I don't have the mental capacity to keep all these events straight. So, consider this to be a recap of today's event to the best of my knowledge.
We'll start with a quick recap for those of you who aren't up to speed. The Wing Bowl is Philadelphia-based chicken wing eating contest that is held the Friday before the Super Bowl. Contestants participate in 3 rounds of eating, and the person with the highest cumulative number of wings eaten is the winner. (And by winner, I mean the person with Yokozuna-level cholesterol, indigestion, and future epic-level Hershey squirts)
Here are some of the highlights:
1. This event started at 6 am to coincide with 610 WIP's morning radio show, which is the event's sponsor. The doors to the Wachovia Center opened at 5 am. The parking lot opened at 4 am. Tailgating in the parking lot of the adjacent Holiday Inn started at midnight. Oh, and last night's low temperature was in the 20's. Warrants mentioning.
2. Tickets for this event sold out in a little less than one day. The need to sell tickets became necessary after the 2004 event when 50,000 people showed up to an arena that seats no more than 20,000. On a related note, a total of 225 people turned out to vote in my town during the 2006 mid-term elections.
3. I know this is hard to believe, but many people showed up to this event having already consumed a large amount of alcohol. The five young knuckleheads who sat directly behind us were full of fury when we got there, but they faded fast.
4. An interesting side event is the oogling of the Wingettes. Wingettes accompany each of the competitors and are the ones who supply them with fresh wings as they run out. They also serve as tremendous eye-candy. A great majority of the Wingettes appeared to be independent adult entertainment contractors from the local establishments. Additionally, random females from the audience will occasionally flash the crowd as well. For instance, a lady who I think was pushing her mid 40's had no problem baring her bosoms and caboose at least 10-12 times. Philadelphia.....it's Phantastic!
5. I think I found the future of the back tattoo. The tattoo on the small of a woman's back has been done for quite a long time. I saw something new today. One of the Wingettes had a tattoo that ran from her mid-back, around her side, ending by her hip. Not only do I think that this has 100% chance to catching on, just remember that you read it here first.
6. Another innovation that I noticed today is the bikini top that has just the minimum amount of material to it. It's almost as if the manufacturers determined the size of an average nipple, added 1 millimeter, and called it a day.
7. Today's "E For Effort" award goes to the guy two rows in front of us who attempted to use his binoculars in combination with his camera-phone to increase his zoom capabilities.
8. I found out that there are 3 basic methods used by professional competitors to eat a wing.
A. The "Rotisserie Method" - Here they just spin the wing around until all the meat is eaten
B. The "Divide and Conquer Method" - Here, the two bones are split apart and each one is tackled separately.
C. The "Bone Stripper Method" - Here the eater will just shove the whole wing in their mouth, and when its ripped out, all of the meat has been stripped off.
9. There was an overly high level of guys who were snapping pictures of the semi-nude Wingettes and the flashing audience members. Let me explain. I'm not saying that it's out of the ordinary to do this, but these guys seemed a little TOO interested. Borderline, creepy interested. My theory is that these are the guys who aren't allowed to visit their local gentlemen's club, and the Wing Bowl has become their substitute. They have to squeeze a year's worth of visits into 4 hours. Not to break the guy code, but I see these digital pics being downloaded to the "Important Tax Documents - DO NOT DELETE" folder on their computer later today.
10. The winner, Joey Chestnut, ate a world-record 182 wings in 30 minutes of eating. That's something that won't be topped soon.
Well, at least until next year. See you on Monday.
~Kevin
I was thinking of a quote that could be used to summarize Wing Bowl, and this seemed to be as good as any. I mean, when you eat 182 chicken wings in 30 minutes you probably don't have a really long life expectancy. And, a little cultural enrichment never hurt either.
Anyway, I was originally going to do this as a running diary, but I realized that I don't have the mental capacity to keep all these events straight. So, consider this to be a recap of today's event to the best of my knowledge.
We'll start with a quick recap for those of you who aren't up to speed. The Wing Bowl is Philadelphia-based chicken wing eating contest that is held the Friday before the Super Bowl. Contestants participate in 3 rounds of eating, and the person with the highest cumulative number of wings eaten is the winner. (And by winner, I mean the person with Yokozuna-level cholesterol, indigestion, and future epic-level Hershey squirts)
Here are some of the highlights:
1. This event started at 6 am to coincide with 610 WIP's morning radio show, which is the event's sponsor. The doors to the Wachovia Center opened at 5 am. The parking lot opened at 4 am. Tailgating in the parking lot of the adjacent Holiday Inn started at midnight. Oh, and last night's low temperature was in the 20's. Warrants mentioning.
2. Tickets for this event sold out in a little less than one day. The need to sell tickets became necessary after the 2004 event when 50,000 people showed up to an arena that seats no more than 20,000. On a related note, a total of 225 people turned out to vote in my town during the 2006 mid-term elections.
3. I know this is hard to believe, but many people showed up to this event having already consumed a large amount of alcohol. The five young knuckleheads who sat directly behind us were full of fury when we got there, but they faded fast.
4. An interesting side event is the oogling of the Wingettes. Wingettes accompany each of the competitors and are the ones who supply them with fresh wings as they run out. They also serve as tremendous eye-candy. A great majority of the Wingettes appeared to be independent adult entertainment contractors from the local establishments. Additionally, random females from the audience will occasionally flash the crowd as well. For instance, a lady who I think was pushing her mid 40's had no problem baring her bosoms and caboose at least 10-12 times. Philadelphia.....it's Phantastic!
5. I think I found the future of the back tattoo. The tattoo on the small of a woman's back has been done for quite a long time. I saw something new today. One of the Wingettes had a tattoo that ran from her mid-back, around her side, ending by her hip. Not only do I think that this has 100% chance to catching on, just remember that you read it here first.
6. Another innovation that I noticed today is the bikini top that has just the minimum amount of material to it. It's almost as if the manufacturers determined the size of an average nipple, added 1 millimeter, and called it a day.
7. Today's "E For Effort" award goes to the guy two rows in front of us who attempted to use his binoculars in combination with his camera-phone to increase his zoom capabilities.
8. I found out that there are 3 basic methods used by professional competitors to eat a wing.
A. The "Rotisserie Method" - Here they just spin the wing around until all the meat is eaten
B. The "Divide and Conquer Method" - Here, the two bones are split apart and each one is tackled separately.
C. The "Bone Stripper Method" - Here the eater will just shove the whole wing in their mouth, and when its ripped out, all of the meat has been stripped off.
9. There was an overly high level of guys who were snapping pictures of the semi-nude Wingettes and the flashing audience members. Let me explain. I'm not saying that it's out of the ordinary to do this, but these guys seemed a little TOO interested. Borderline, creepy interested. My theory is that these are the guys who aren't allowed to visit their local gentlemen's club, and the Wing Bowl has become their substitute. They have to squeeze a year's worth of visits into 4 hours. Not to break the guy code, but I see these digital pics being downloaded to the "Important Tax Documents - DO NOT DELETE" folder on their computer later today.
10. The winner, Joey Chestnut, ate a world-record 182 wings in 30 minutes of eating. That's something that won't be topped soon.
Well, at least until next year. See you on Monday.
~Kevin
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