2008 Soul Bowl Selections

	REaperS	Team CWG
Point Factor	Pick	Pick
10	Russell Watson	Elizabeth Taylor
9	Leroy Sievers	Dick Clark
8	Betty Ford	Jerry Lewis
7	Suzanne Pleshette	Fidel Castro
6	Omar Abdel Rahman	Patrick Dempsey
5	Bobby Murcer	Michael J Fox
4	Keith Richards	Eddie Van Halen
3	Annette Funicello	Pervez Musharraf
2	Farrah Fawcett	Joanie "Chyna" Lauer
1	Owen Wilson	Gary Busey

	Team Jake	Team Rudy 241
Point Factor	Pick	Pick
10	Kirk Douglas	Oral Roberts
9	Dick Clark	Don Rickles
8	Amy Winehouse	Wayne Newton
7	Mike Wallace	Courtney Love
6	Charlton Heston	Liza Minelli
5	Carol Burnett	Milton Street
4	Dick Chaney	David Hasselhoff
3	Elizabeth Edwards	Pete Doherty
2	50 Cent	Muhammad Ali
1	Ozzy Osbourne	Stephen Stills

	Team KH	The Doornails
Point Factor	Pick	Pick
10	Kirk Douglas	Amy Winehouse
9	Charlton Heston	Farrah Fawcett
8	Judge Joseph Wapner	Hugh Hefner
7	Olivia de Havilland	Stephen Hawking
6	Roger Ebert	Angela Lansbury
5	Henry Kissinger	Walter Cronkite
4	Norman Lear	Muhammad Ali
3	Della Reese	Hulk Hogan
2	Barbara Hale	Jimmy Carter
1	Mike Wallace	Sharon Osbourne

	Team DKKD	Team JH
Point Factor	Pick	Pick
10	John Wooden	Bilawal Zardari
9	Amy Winehouse	Asif Ali Zardari
8	Margaret Thatcher	Mwai Kibaki
7	Karl Malden	Dick Cheney
6	George Steinbrenner	Dick Clark
5	Phyllis Diller	Andy Dick
4	Gloria Stuart	Fred Thompson
3	Pat Summerall	Fidel Castro
2	Side Caesar	Marilyn Manson
1	Carol Channing	Mike Tyson

	Team Bear & Peanut	Team The Chad
Point Factor	Pick	Pick
10	Kirk Douglas	Kirk Douglas
9	BB King	Charlton Heston
8	Charlton Heston	Andy Griffith
7	Jeff Conaway	John Wooden
6	Andy Griffith	Fidel Castro
5	Dick Clark	Estelle Getty
4	Elizabeth Taylor	Muhammad Ali
3	Harvey Korman	Dr. Jack Kevorkian
2	Joe Paterno	Andy Rooney
1	Britney Spears	Dick Clark

	Ghouls Gone Wild aka Kevin
Point Factor	Pick
10	Sydney Pollack
9	George Steinbrenner
8	Farrah Fawcett
7	Ariel Sharon
6	Charlton Heston
5	Artie Lange
4	Billy Graham
3	Fidel Castro
2	Hulk Hogan
1	Nancy Reagan

The Ramblings........

Well, it's good to be back from my self-imposed exile. During that time I had the chance to accumulate some thoughts that I felt I would share with all of you. There's no real rhyme or reason here. Just a collection of various things that popped into my head. If there is anything that you would care to add, feel free to add it in the comments section.

1. When we look back at 2007 a few years from now, the invention we'll remember most won't be the iPhone, it'll be the Kraft Grate-It Fresh.

2. The two best shows on TV that you're probably not watching are 'Dirty Sexy Money' and 'The Unit.'

3. Can't we all agree on standards for answering machines? Some machines have that little beep at the end, some have a really long beep, some don't have anything. Is it asking to much to have all machines work the same way?

4. Going along with Point #3, let's all agree on the proper way to repeat a phone number to someone else. It should work like this: three digits, then a pause, three more digits, then another pause, then 2 digits, the final pause, and then the final two digits.

5. To keep the communication theme going, do we really need to tell people 'www.' before we give them a web address anymore? Isn't it pretty much assumed at this point? We've managed to wean ourselves off of the 'http://' part, I say we keep the party going.

6. There's comedy, there's high comedy, and then there is Playboy's Miss January 2007, Jayde Nicole, who has the word "Respect" tattooed just above her ladybits. Sorry, but these things are mutually exclusive.

7. Look, my cable provider gives me 200 channels. Is it asking too much for someone to find a little space to put on MacGyver somewhere?

Till next week

~Kevin

2008 Soul Bowl Official Rules....

As the leaves change and the weather turns colder, it can only mean one thing. That's right! It's Soul Bowl Selection Time once again. This year's version has had much more action. Currently, 7 out of the 12 people who are in the Pool have had at least one person on their list pass away.

Official Rules: By the power vested in me by the United States of America, I hereby declare these the Official rules of the 2008 Monday 5 P.M. Death Pool, aka the Soul Bowl.

1. The Death Pool (hereto referred to simply as "the Bowl" or "the Pool") attempts to predict which celebrities will pass away in the upcoming year. The Soul Bowl starts at 12:01 am on January 01, 2008 and will end at the stroke of midnight on December 31st, 2008.

2. The only people eligible to be selected are Celebrities. While impossible to specifically declare what makes a celebrity, a good rule of thumb is that their obit would appear in national newspapers. Also, a person can not become a celebrity only because of their death. We'll refer to this as the Daniel Smith, (aka Anna Nicole's son) rule. The management retains the right to reject any person who doesn't fit the "celebrity" criteria.

3. The scoring works as such: Each person is allowed to select a total of 10 celebrities. You will rank your selections from 1 to 10. In this case, your #1 selection will be the person who you think is most likely to die in the upcoming year. The #1 slot is worth 10 points, the #2 slot is worth 9 points, and so on. If the person in that position does pass away, you then multiply the position points by the difference of 100 minus their age. So, as an example, if you had Evel Knievel at #7 this year that would have been worth 124 points. (4*(100-69)). This format still rewards people who take chances on younger people instead of playing it safe with all elderly selections. Also, if you select a person who is over age 100, then they will be scored simply as 1 times the position points. So, there is some strategy involved as well. It's not enough to just pick someone for your list. You want to put them as high up as possible. So, if two people have the same person on their lists, but they are in different positions, it will generate more points for the person who has them higher up.

4. The person with the highest total number of points for the entire year wins.

5. There are no restrictions on who you can select, relative to others' picks. You can select someone regardless of whether or not someone else has them on their list.

6. People who are ineligible as selections: People on death row. Currently missing children. If I missed anyone else that is obvious, let me know. In other words, play like a normal person (or as normal as a person who participates in the Pool can be).

7. You are allowed to draft your people between December 1st and December 31st.

8. In order to keep things fair, all the selections need to be e-mailed to ourdeathpool@yahoo.com This way, we have a way for people to get their selections in, but I won't release the names until after January 1st. So, people who don't put any thought into this won't be able to pick and choose from other people's selections. Also, feel free to make up a creative team name and send it in with your selections. This year we simply went with people's initials as the team name. However, as the Soul Bowl continues to grow, this will eventually become confusing. So, a distinctive team name might be more appropriate going forward.

9. This is for entertainment purposes only. The only prize is the pride and sense of accomplishment of winning.

10. Have fun.

Remember, the more the merrier! So, encourage friends, neighbors, co-workers, your local clergymen, etc to participate.

Soul Bowl Update (12/03/2007)........

Well, it's that time of year again. As we come into the homestretch of the 2007 Soul Bowl, I felt that it was time to give you a little update. Here is how the standings currently look:

1. RS: 435 pts. (Art Buchwald, Benny Parsons, Don Herbert, Madeleine L'Engle)
2. MJ: 403 pts. (Tammy Faye, Lady Bird Johnson, and Brooke Astor)
3. KH: 350 pts. (Tammy Faye)
4. CWG: 240 pts. (Boris Yeltsin)
5. TW: 232 pts. (Luciano Pavarotti)
6. Kevin: 140 pts. (Tammy Faye)
7. The Chad: 24 pts. (Lady Bird Johnson)

That's very similar to the last time that I posted. The one change is that Madeleine L'Engle died back in September, but I have been grossly negligent in keeping this list updated. Also, I would highly encourage everyone to check their picks and make sure that no one slipped through the cracks.

Finally, if you look above, you will see the official rules posted for the 2008 Soul Bowl.

And yes......it's good to be back.

I'm Back.......

New Topic

Ok, I have absolutely nothing to say tonight. I am sleepy. Yeah, that's right. I am 29 years old and I said that I am sleepy. Deal with it.

And, DWB had some things that he needs to get off his chest, and he requested a new posting to do that. Since, I am a man of my word.....here it is.

~Kevin

Techno-crapper...............

Every once and a while I like to really talked about the things in life that really matter. Global warming? Nope. Our dependence on foreign oil? Not even close. I am talking about the integration of technology into the very inner orifices of our lives. That's right, into the inner sanctum of manhood.....the men's room.

I actually had been thinking about writing on this topic for a while, but it was this e-mail (re-printed with JonBoy's permission) that prompted all this:

It's the morning of the 3rd day in the new building and I can already tell I'm going to have a hard time getting use to how things operate around here. Today, I'd like to point out the cost of having a high tech. bathroom stall. For the 2nd time this week, I've had the privilege of using our cutting edge loos- in case you haven't used them yet, they flush by themselves. I for one feel this is a great asset just in case someone forgets to flush or if they have issues about touching the handle to flush - none of which applies to myself. However, there are some cases when the technology doesn't work as it should & it creates more harm than good.

For example, as I've been attempting to sit on the throne - it flushes. Talk about being efficient, flushing before there's anything to remove! As if wasting water wasn't enough, the person gets to experience the equivalent of riding the Wild Rapids at Cedar Point without a suit on. Is this what it feels like to use a bidet? Maybe it's just me but I think there are others out there with the same problem. If that wasn't bad enough, how about the unexpected, intermittent flushing that takes place while wiping? Finally, when you get up - the toilet doesn't flush thus leaving paper in the bowl. This I wonder...


Immediately, I am glad that I have a forum to discuss these matters of national importance. I couldn't agree with Jonboy more. As you all know, I am a huge proponent of the paper ass-gaskets that cover the toilet seats. Actually, I was until Jon pointed out that they just absorb the pee on the seat. Great! My whole belief system has been crushed. And while we are on the topic, why can't we get these things to properly fit on the seat. I love the term "one size fits all" only because they never seem to fit anything. That's why I typically supplement the ass gasket with additional TP as needed to make up for any deficencies and gaps in coverage.

Also, I totally agree that the pre-mature squirting of the self-flushing toilets can be a problem as well. It goes off too quickly and then the TP that you've already laid down gets soaked by the toilet water that shoots up and then you have to start all over again. Quite frankly, its frustrating. Especially when you're working on a taco-induced brown growler and time is of the essence. And then on the opposite end of the spectrum you have the ones that refuse to flush at all. Luckily, I have noticed that most models have a button located on the top that allows for On Demand flushing when necessary.

Another thing that really bothers me is this mis-directed focus on not touching things. It seems that once you get in there the whole purpose is trying to complete as many tasks as possible without using your hands. It's like a soccer match, for god's sake. However, you go through all that trouble and you wash your hands (hopefully) and then they make you pull on the disgusting door handle to get back out! It doesn't make a damn bit of sense. I think that every men's room should be set up so that you merely have to push on the door to get back out. All they need is to make it a handle on the outside and a pusher plate on the inside. It's not rocket science. I'm not just suggesting this, I'm demanding it.

Whew! I feel better now. Glad I could get this off my chest. Till next week.

~Kevin

Monday Night Combo......

Well, I have a very important topics to talk to everyone about, so I decided to give it to you tonight. I was also going to discuss a topic that was brought to my attention by JonBoy, but I have a feeling I am going to be mad after I write about PSU, so I am going to hold that till next week, but just trust me when I tell you that its a subject that touches each and every one of us.

OK, let's get it out into the open. Nothing in live frustrates me more than Penn State football. Nothing. I am beginning to realize what it felt like to be a Red Sox fan from 1918 thru 2003. We're always just missing that certain something. And quite frankly, I am getting pretty damn tired of it. And, I'll even be really fair about this. I don't know anything about the finer, technical aspects of football. I never even played midget football. I can barely throw a spiral. But you know what? Even I could have told you what our game plan was going to be. It was the same as last week, last year, and even last 1974. We don't change a gosh darn thing. Running "Butterfingers" Scott right up the middle for a 2 yard loss? Wow! Never saw that coming.

I guess it was asking a bit much to open up the offense a little against Michigan. I mean, the two teams that beat them this season played a spread offense. Oh, and one of them was a friggin' 1-AA team for God's sake! Have we sunk to the point where 1-AA Teams are able to adapt more than us?

There weren't too many aspects of the game that I was excited about. First, can we all agree that Ant-nee Morelli was the worst thing that could have happened to the program and a perfect metaphor for why we will languish in mediocrity under the Chad gets his way and JoePa meets the Great Almighty? The only reason we went after him in the first place was because a local kid by the name of Chad Henne decided that he was going to play the percentages and go to the program that has put its last 6 quarterbacks in the NFL. You know what? He ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. Had he gone to Penn State, he'd be a two year starter will no shot at the pros. You know, kinda like Morelli.

Second, pray to whatever god you choose that Austin Scott doesn't step foot on a football field again unless he's lining it. Again, another recruiting disaster. The pride of Allentown that no one else wanted after he was hurt. Shouldn't we have been a little worried that every other program in the country decided to back off? I mean, not even a little? Do these kinds of things ever work out for us?

Third, let your players make plays. Again, I'm not a expert on these things, but its always been my assumption that you might want to try and get the ball to your best players. You know, sort of the opposite of giving Deon Butler one look, and Derrick Williams not sniffing the ball until the second half.

I feel like I am constantly going over the same crap all the time with this team. I talked to DWB on the phone after the game on Saturday, and he made a great point. What other coach in the country gets a free pass for losing to your big rival 9 straight times? John Cooper, from Ohio State, couldn't beat Michigan either and he was out on his ass after four seasons. Maybe that's the problem. Do we even have a big rival at this point? I am so used to losing to Michigan that its almost a foregone conclusion that something bad will happen to us during that game.

I am tired of saying that we need a total overhaul, but we do. Fredo Paterno needs to go. And he can take pretty much the rest of the coaching staff with him. The university needs to put its foot down, and spend a few bucks on a quality coach who was born after the invention of electricity. Can you imagine these players on a team coached by an Urban Meyer or a Pete Carroll?

That's right....me neither......

Till next week.

~Kevin