Well, I had the opportunity to take a trip back to State College this weekend. I like to head up there at least two or three times a year to recharge the batteries. In honor of this weekend, I decided to "break out the thumbs" and give some informal grades to various weekend related items.
(Also, please note that I stole this idea directly from a recent Bill Simmons column on ESPN.com. I know I have mentioned this about 20 times by now, but I will continue to bring it up until I have confirmation that at least one person is reading him on a regular basis.)
Here we go.....
Thumbs up. To State College in general. This might be my favorite place on Earth that doesn't require a cover charge and a wad of dollar bills.
Thumbs up. To the Sleep Inn. This place never fails to disappoint. I think that pound-for-pound it's the best value in hotels. They always have a helpful staff. They even let me put my ice cream from the Creamery in their freezer overnight. The rooms are clean and comfortable. A 5 Star facility in my book.
Thumbs down. To the graffiti artist who placed the phrase "One Way Jesus" on a bridge overpass on Route 220. My travel companion for the day, my cousin-in-law (DD's husband), and I debated this for the next 15 minutes. Is Jesus only responsible for the good and not the bad things that happen in life? Or maybe only responsible for the bad and not the good? An omnipotent traffic deity? This only left us with more questions than answers.
Thumbs down. To the Berkey Creamery. They built a state of the art Creamery, and didn't improve parking. I know that there is a parking deck next door, but it was being used for an event, and looked inaccessible to the general public. Also, I know that this is going to sound weird, but I don't like the fact that Penn State sold out and let somebody put their name on the Creamery. The Creamery is a landmark. It's like being able to buy a real-life Monopoly property. If you didn't go to Penn State, this won't make any sense, but we take our ice cream very seriously.
Thumbs down. To our cab driver on the way to downtown State College. He was playing some sort of techno music and I swear that there was an ad in there for a MySpace page. If that was in the part that I could hear, I can only imagine what type of subliminal message was planted in there. We'll find out in about 3 days when I feel compelled to strip naked and walk around outside like a chicken.
Thumbs up. To Bill Pickle's and all the other bars that open up before 4 pm. Not a bad place to hang out until Tony's and the Phyrst open up.
Thumbs down. To the volatile mixture of Qdoba's Mexican food and beer. Probably not the best idea if your future restroom options are sketchy at best.
Thumbs up. To my large intestine. For keeping the aforementioned combo under wraps until I could reach acceptable facilities.
Thumbs down. To the privileged elite. I think that some of the students out there are going to have a rude awakening when they hit the job market. If I ever have the ability to recruit college kids, I would love to see how they act in a bar situation. I've never seen so many pampered youths in my life. Just a solid row of kids in Izod shirts waving their daddy's credit card expecting good service. As a side note, I saw the hardest working bartender ever at Tony's Big Easy on Saturday. She literally handled the entire front bar there by herself. These damn kids were mad that they weren't being waited on in 2 seconds. I weep for the future.
Thumbs down. To trendy clothes and the girls who wear them. There was a girl at the Phyrst on Saturday who was trying desperately to get noticed due to her rack, which was barely covered. At one point the entire bar was shouting "TAKE YOUR TOP OFF." She was standing there with an open mouth, like she couldn't believe how she had been singled out. Here's the rule, when you dress like that, don't act shocked when you get negative attention. I'm not saying that she was a slut, but she was certainly wearing the uniform.
Thumbs down. To Father Time. I needed to take a nap to be able to muster the strength for a night of drinking on Saturday. This isn't fair. There was a point when I could go all day. Not anymore.
Well, that about wraps it up. Have a great week, and I'll talk to you all next week.
~Kevin
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12 comments:
Thumbs Down. To Kevin for being a fag and ripping of the "I'm not saying that she was a slut, but she was certainly wearing the uniform." from the comedian whose name escapes me at the moment.
Thumbs Up: To Qdoba's Mexican food because it's wonderful.
Thumbs Down: To Kevin for being a little girl and not stomaching the wonderful Qdoba Mexican food. Man Up bitch. I remember the days of La Bamba. What happened to you? However, you always overstated your abilities.
P.S. Qdoba for lunch at work equals a deuce at 1:30.
That comedian is Dave Chappelle.
Second, I never overstated my La Bamba abilities! I ROUTINELY beat the crap out of everyone when we were eating the super burrito. The only person who could hang was Sang.
And Sang is a Big Fat Asian.
I'm inspired to make my own thumbs list.
Thumbs up: PENNDOT: You guys kick serious ass! Keep up the good work.
Thumbs up: Stock market taking a dump. I love it when stocks go on sale.
Thumbs down: Siemens PTI. This is a two year course that my company has decided is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I have to spend about a day a week listening to experts in the field talk about horseshit. Its incredibly boring and irrelevant but my company requires you to complete it if you ever want to move up. Here is the best part, a local wannabe Ivy League school has agreed that this course is the equivalent of 9 credits towards their masters in power engineering. The catch: THEY DON'T HAVE A POWER ENGINEERING MASTERS PROGRAM!! I do get free lunch though.
Thumbs up: Tim Shaw rocking the combine. He ran something like a 4.43. I think he made himself a little more money due to his workouts.
Thumbs down: Penn State Men's Basketball. I saw them play Illinois the other day. The only word that comes to mind is embarassing. I think Ed gets one more season and if he continues his winning ways, we petition to fire his sorry ass.
Thumbs up: Dirty Jobs is on, so I'm out.
You never beat me bitch. You pulled the, "I had a big lunch", "I don't feel good" crap.
Chad, seriously......stop drinking during the week. I can't think of a single instance when you ever beat me head-to-head in the super burrito. We might have to make a trip to Columbus, OH and settle this once and for all.
Seriously guys, what kind of homos have to go to columbus to settle a score? Kev, you seriously lost points by even suggesting going to columbus. What next? A gay retreat to Ann Arbor (is still a whore)?
Why don't we all agree to go to a strip club and make up? I'll even buy you both a lap dance.
We would need to go to Columbus because thats the closest LaBamba's to us.
Kevin, thats really not an excuse.
I've been drinking, I mean thinking, and I have a serious point I would like to discuss. This point is the AD at PSU, one Mr. Tim Curley. I for one think he is nothing more than a douchebag with no balls.
I have come to this conclusion based on the performance of the Penn State men's basketball team. I realize that earlier I said something about Ed being allowed one more year, but I have changed my position. Fire him now.
People say that no one cares about PSU Bball. I disagree. Do you remember the season we made it to the sweet 16? Do you remember after beating UNC how students were all out on Beaver celebrating? And the best part of all was when girls were flashing their boobies. Then do you remember a few days later after losing to Temple that there was a riot? Hmmm...yeah no one cares.
That season was probably about the worst thing that could have happened to the basketball program because it gave Jerry Dunn a new lease on life. He had nothing to do with the success of that team, rather the players actually had enough heart to overcome Dunn's shortcomings.
This brings me back to Curley. He didn't fire Dunn, Dunn resigned. And the he hired a former Dunn assistant??? What the hell? Open up the damn checkbook, let the the moths fly out, and pay someone! This is just embarassing.
Penn State is at least competetive in every other sport, so why is hoops different? Fired Ed, Fire Curley, and while you are at it, kick Spanier in the teeth.
This isn't just a couple of down years, its an institutional problem. Fix it by fixing the institution.
DWB, I agree with you on the Men's Basketball. I was thinking the saem thing myself recently. But that's not how we do things at Old State. We need to keep it in the family. I got one name for you: Joe Crispin! That's right. Our whole offense will be shooting 3's from halfcourt, but I like it. Let's not get a Steve Lavin or someone. I like this much better.
Kevin,
Joe Crispin is one of he reasons PSU made the sweet 16. I'm not a fan of his style of play, but he willed that team to the sweet 16. The sad thing is he bought Jerry Dunn a contract extension.
Jerry Dunn then ran the program into the ground.
Then Mr. Curley hired a former Dunn assistant, which was a move of pure genius.
If PSU was serious about fielding a competitive team, they would hire a coach with a big name. You can hire a guy like that, fit within the framework or "doing it the right way" and actually win some games.
Hire a coach, and the players will follow. Is a simple formula.
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