PSU vs. Notre Dame......

Ok, here it is! What we've all been waiting for: The big game, PSU vs. Notre Dame. This game is so big, that I am doing the only logical thing possible, keeping a running diary throughout the game. This might be best idea I've had all week. For full disclosure, I should tell you that I originally got this idea from the SportsGuy on ESPN.com. I've told you multiple times before, but I'll say it again. If you like sports and pop culture, you need to be reading the SportsGuy on a regular basis.

2:10 p.m. Well, game time is about 2 hours and 20 minutes away. I couldn't be more excited. I shouldn't let the cat out of the bag, but I already know how this thing is going to end up. For anybody who knows me, you'll know that I am slightly superstitious, with possible low-grade OCD thrown in for good measure. (For instance, I didn't get into my bed on the right side for 2 years. But that's a whole 'nother story.) Anyway, all the signs leading up to kick-off show the game going Penn State's way. Just to let you know what I'm talking about, last night I got home from work and I had the new Frederick's of Hollywood catalog waiting for me. Then, for good measure I simulated the game on NCAA 2007. The result? Penn State 56, Notre Dame 44. This morning, the good times kept on rolling. The new issue of Playboy arrived. While each event might seem insignificant, when you put them all together it looks like a sure fire Nittany Lion victory today.

3:05 p.m. Well, I think I might as well set up some over/under predictions for the game:
1. Kinds of cheese I will eat today: 4
2. Trips to the restroom: 6
3. References to Charlie Weis' Super Bowl victories or rings: at least 1

On a side note, a great T-shirt that is on sale in State College right now reads "Take Charlie Back to the Chocolate Factory." Maybe the perfect mixture of high comedy, and slight cruelty. I love it.

20 minutes till kick-off

3:16 p.m. By the way, the Chad has checked in several times from South Bend. From what I've heard it sounds like there is a large PSU presence there. The full Blue Band is in the house, massive tailgating, free booze, etc. I am almost giddy at this point.

3:38 p.m. First sure fire way of the day to know you're going to hell. The priest from ND is giving the prayer about 9/11 and as they cut to an aerial shot of the stadium, you comment to yourself that the 2 smaller arenas next to it remind you of a set of tits.

3:43 p.m. Another reason why I don't like this school: People who pronounce it "No-tra Dame" instead of "No-der Dame" That must be the 4 Bud Light's talkin'.

3:51 p.m. You know what would be a great idea? Cover the God-damn tight end! He's on pace for about 27 receptions.

4:05 p.m. Christ! A Ganter screwed us. (although the snap looked high) Please, someone tell me there are no more Ganter kids at S.C. High that we have to put up with.

4:20 p.m. The end of the 1st quarter. Well....ah, I don't really know how to classify this. I mean, I'm mad that we screwed up the field goal attempt and then fumbled when we were starting a drive down the field. Maybe 56-44 is a little unrealistic at this point. It could be worse. They need to stop them on this drive, and then score a TD. I did like the fact that they lined D-Wil up at quarterback. And AJ Wallace continues to impress the hell out of me.

4:46 p.m. Ok, I am starting to get belligerent here. Anytime the offense wants to do something, that's fine with me. Seriously. God damn it!!! They just hit the tight end on 2nd and 20! How is this possible? Why does it always seem that when we need that play it never happens, but it ALWAYS happens for the other team? Just FYI, I have now switched to Pottsville's finest. I am 6 into this. I am somewhat amazed that this still makes sense.

5:32 p.m. How to tell your team had a bad first half? The best piece of information I got was a commerical showing Jack Klugman (one half of the Odd Couple), I thought he died in like '97. (note to self, pick Jack Klugman for the 2007 Death Pool). Also, DWB is feeding me this line of shit that he's up to 13 beers. He's obviously using the Chad scale of conversion. Also, the best line of the half came from The Chad: A simple, but effective equation. #7 Sciorotto = #4 Derek Fox. I think I learned that in Math 220.

4:55 p.m. See, this is why I never joined the military. Just 6 beers and 13 points later, I am totally broken. Also, I currently have no pants on. The situation is detiorating quickly here.

5:12 p.m. Is this really happening? Is it still 4 in the morning and I am just dreaming that we are playing like a WNBA team? Does anybody know if Posluszny and Connor made the trip to South Bend?

5:36 p.m. Zibakowski just scores. There is no God!

6:17 p.m. Well, that about wraps it up. Its now 34-3, with about 1 minute left to go in the 3rd quarter. Quite frankly, I am embarassed right now. We didn't even show up. They are marching down the field again, and there is literally nothing that we can do to slow them down. I even had to bear the sight of Jeff Smarahdklsdkfjsldjfa catching a touchdown in the first half. I still have no pants on. And, I got pix message from DWB, via Verizon wireless, and I have visual proof that he's down 13. Impressive. That might be the most impressive Penn State-related thing that I've seen all day. Sad.

7:05 p.m. Well, what can you say? We got our asses handed to us. I feel sick.l We coulda been champions. We coulda gone all the way. The upside of drinking all day is that I don't have that much further to go to hit "consolation-ville." Good times!