Shot in the Face......

Gentlemen:

I don't think anybody should be shot in the face, but I gotta admit, that's one hell of a line. Well, let's get right down to it, and I will give you my analysis of the game based on what I saw.

(waiting........)

(still waiting......)

That's right, I didn't see the game. Not a single play. A combination of poor scheduling and the belief that it was "only Minnesota" led me to this decision. Quite frankly, I think I am better off. I think that throughout the years PSU football will shave about a year off my life. The combination of elevated blood pressure from dumb playcalling can do that to you. But, from what I hear it sounded like they are finally starting to take our advice seriously. Also, one question. What is a bubble screen? Should I feel like a dunce for not knowing this? If so, please explain, and then call me a dunce.

Ok, onto this week. Basically, the season comes down to this. We can lose the rest of this season's games and it will all be worth it if we can beat Michigan. I can't remember a victory vs. them ever. And its not so much that they beat us, it seems like there is always a shady reason behind it. Remember a couple of years ago when Tony Johnson caught that pass and he was ruled out of bounds? (and we later found out the ref was from Ann Arbor). I can't even bring myself to bring up that catastrophe of last year. Lloyd "2 seconds" Carr convincing the refs to add more time. At least Mario Manningham is out of the game this time around. I have been thinking about ways we could get shafted this year. I think the most likely one is that we are down by 6 with 5 seconds left to go, we throw a Hail Mary, Derrick Williams catches it, and as he is running for the touchdown, a sinkhole swallows him up.

As far as predictions go, I see us finally being able to break this streak. All the elements are there. Its a night game in Beaver Stadium. A white out has been declared. That place is going to rocking on Saturday night. If we bring our "A" games I think we can win. I see a 27-17 Nittany Lion victory.

Also, I am expecting full participation in the "F@!# Michigan" T-shirt club. I will be getting mine out of its sealed storage unit. A little tighter around the mid-section, but it still fits. Besides the $4.92 I spent on that severed pig's head, by far the best money that I ever spent in college.

Moving right along, for those of you who remember Chafie Fields (former PSU wideout), he was on my local all-sports radio station on Sunday answering questions. Ah....how does one put this? Let's just say that I don't think that he does radio on his weekends off from running the nuclear physics lab at MIT. Thats the part I didn't understand. I can see if you can get a big name ex-athlete on your show to answer questions, and he can barely put 2 words together. But Chafie Fields? I'm thinking Chafie has some incriminating photos of somebody at the station. Seriously.

Finally, I don't know if anybody else caught this tidbit. Jennifer "Fisheye" Wilbanks is suing her former fiance. I guess that he didn't give her back certain items like a gold couch after she ran-away before their wedding. A gold-colored couch? That should have been that guy's first tip-off. In my opinion, anybody who fancys a gold couch should be treated with extreme caution. However, if I was the fiance I would have the perfect comeback for her attempt to get back into his life, "you have no business back here."

(And yes I did spend about 5 minutes trying to figure out how to work that into the conversation)

Ok, go State this weekend! I can feel it, this is the weekend!

~Kevin