It was recently brought to my attention that a great time to update this blog would be on Monday's, after 5 pm. Wow! What a concept! Wish I would have thought of that one. But, seeing as how I do this for the fans, here it is....your Monday after 5 pm update.
First, in the last posting I made an error and forgot to mention "for your conveinence"'s illegitamate brother, "thank you in advance for your understanding in this matter." Same basic concept, but with a slight twist. Here, the whole goal is to make you feel like an ass if you raise a stink about this particular issue. How dare you call to complain, we already thanked you in advance. This is brilliant. I think I might start to use this in my personal life. Before I act like a real jerk-off (which is often), I'm just going to preface it with that line. "Hey Joe, I'd just like to thank you in advance for your understanding regarding my urinating in your fishbowl later on." This could be huge.
Next, is it just me or do we just need to shut this whole Space Shuttle thing down? I wasted a good 15 minutes on Saturday watching a NASA spokesperson on CNN try to describe the difference between a leak and seep. Classic. Guess what? They both mean crap is comin' out that ain't supposed to. Also, for those of you who missed this little tidbit, NASA hired a crew to pick up all the roadkill around the Cape Canaveral area because they were worried about vultures ramming into the shuttle during take-off. Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but don't you think that if you need to factor in vultures running into your craft during takeoff, it might be time to re-evaluate? Also, glad to see that the 30 months and millions of dollars that they spent trying to keep the foam on the external fuel tank had spectacular results. Is it just me, or did they ever consider putting the foam on the inside of the damn tank? Problem solved.
I couldn't go a whole posting without commenting on what's going on in the Middle East. I'm sure you're looking for my insightful commentary on these events. However, I've decided to put a different spin on it. I know that I have talked numerous times about various money-making schemes. But here is one that I think would actually work. I want a web-site that when shit goes down, its right on top of it, giving me the Cliff Notes version of the events. All I'm looking for is a high-level overview. Give me some maps, some charts, a timeline possibly. I turn on CNN and all thats on for 5 days is this quasi-war, and I have no idea what happened. Think of it as a "Current Events for Dummies." This can't miss. By the way, CNN really needs to re-think their criteria on when they use the "Breaking News" banner. Every time I see that damn thing, I think maybe someone got knocked off for the Death Pool, but no....its about some summit or another rocket attack or something. Here's a handy, dandy rule of thumb to use, if the same event has happened a hundred times before in the past 5 days, I think its safe to assume that its not "Breaking News." Just a thought.
Finally, in light of the events mentioned above, you would figure that our legislators would be trying to figure out ways to fix some of the problems we currently have going on. We are still feeling the effects of the post-Enron scandals, and Congress decides to tackle this threat to the business community. Here.
Till, next time.
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10 comments:
Just one quick comment from The Chad. I really don't see much of a problem or even any thing stupid about NASA taking precautions to avoid a bird strike. I say this for two reasons. The first is that if a soft chunk of foam weighing about one pound can cause a catastrophic event; imagine what a fairly decent sized bird could do. Second, from past experience, a bird can do a bit of damage. I witnessed a P-3C (flying at about 230 KIAS) engage a Canadian goose. Not a pretty picture. Parts of the goose were still hanging on the aircraft when it landed. It hit about one foot below the cockpit glass. All the metal was pulled up and needed to be replaced. Two feet higher and it would have downed the aircraft. Not imagine this at escape velocity. Not so nice. There are some pretty cool pictures of bird strikes floating around. I have seen one with the bird hanging out of the wing of an F/A-18. If I find them, I will send the link. The Chad
I guess the point that I was trying to make was that why wasn't any of this a concern before? The shuttle has flown for 20 years. I understand that if a bird hits it there can be major damage. And that the average bird is much bigger than some of the chunks of foam that struck the leading edges of the wing. I just found it interesting.
I am sure it was an area of concern before. However, like the foam, it was overlooked and now they are in CYA mode. So, I guess that makes your point. The Chad
Thank you in advance for your understanding regarding this post...
A couple of things:
1) The Space Shuttle. Shut this fucker down. Its done. Its time to come up with a new vehicle to orbit the earth. The shuttle was conceived in the 70's, correct? enough said.
2) The Middle East. Let Israel run wild. Problem solved.
3) Health Care. I just got back from a few days at the beach, and it gave me time to contemplate my health care policy. You must realize that at the beach, no one has any shame, thus you are exposed to these wildebeasts who think they look good (if you got it, flaunt it). Well, having 500 pounds stuffed in your bathing suit is not "it" and you need to have your stomach stapled and your jaw wired shut. But I digress. My health care policy would follow the auto insurance industry. You have 12 DUI's and 37 accidents? You pay out the ass for coverage. You weigh 500 pounds and think that a KFC sized bucket of fries is a healthy snack, you pay for your choices. I've fucking had it with people who think they are entitled to shit.
4) I hate people
For your convenience, an 18% gratuity has been added to the content of this post.
The Chad: Your rational and well-thought out comments are unacceptable here. You better spice it up, or else.
Or else what bitch. Without me you blog is nothing. I have devoted minutes to reading this blog daily. If this were a newsletter, I would be you only subscriber. That either makes me your savior or extremely pathetic. But not as pathetic as Von.
The Chad
Don't even get me started "the Chad".......your lameness knows no bound! As for NASA, what the hell's that about? I can't remember one thing we've learned from the shuttle missions except that 1 out of every 10 blows up. Let's just do away with it and spend that 200 billion a year on letting me run wild!
Israel? Who cares! These are people that just like to kick the shit out of each other......let them do it. I will say thought, I'm totally pissed at these whinny pussies that are being evacuated down there. Under one-week from the start we had help from Norweigian fishing boats evacuating our citizens to Cyprus. Thousands of them want to be evacuated so the boats are crammed and there's not enough FREE food to go around on these boats for the 2 hour ride to Cyprus. Ok, now you got this bitches complaining about how crowded this is and how there isn't any food. What they hell do you want? Sometimes American's can be the biggest spoiled brats ever! Why were they there anyway? Probably a bunch of liberal tree huggers like "the chad" who moved to free lebanon when Bush was re-elected. Is Suzanne Surrandon & Alec Baldwin there? If so, strap them to a Hezbollah rocket!
I'm through with you!
Von.
First, I am not a liberal, as we all know. Second, BIC doesn't have enough red pens to correct Von's grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Despite that, I agree with much of his rant. To add one thing, has anyone seen how many of these stupid celebrities are throwing money at Hillary “Dyke” Clinton for her campaign? We should boycott their movies. Who would vote for that “she yeti?” Oh, that's right, Kevin would. The Chad
You fags need to lighten up.
I account for the other half of the viewers on this blog the chad.
Von needs to bang his head into a wall until he dies. Then NASA can launch his body into orbit on the 1 out of 10 spach shuttles that blows up.
This is great. I have traveling for the last week and have not been checking the blog as oftern as I have in the past, I love the post DWG. As you all know, I hate everyone also and believe that the death penalty should be harsh, painful, long, and televised.
NASA...I don't really care
Israel..I say we give them a discount on nukes, they have the balls to use them, we don't.
Hillary...God I hope she gets the nomination in 2008.
Health Care...I agree with DWB. I have been to the Dr. twice in the last 2 years(Broken hand and Poison Ivy) Total $$$ that the insurance company had to pick up ~~~$2,000. A guy I work with is a fucking hypocondriac and is at the Dr's every other week...but we pay the same premium!!!!
One other thing...I am tired of seeing the reporters in Israel/Lebanon complaining about harsh environment...ITS FUCKING WAR..it should be harsh, it should be bad, it should be horrible...As George Carlin says...if you don't want to get decapitated on TV, stay the fuck in Oklahoma
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